Self-Doubt Betrays Freedom

 

 

Self-Doubt is the cause of creative oppression and the enemy of our soul. It’s the darkness to our light and it’s the oil in our water. Self-Doubt leads to the bitterness of man and it is the fate of the fearful. It is temporary creative suicide.

“Our doubts are traitors, and makes us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” — Shakespeare.

To doubt ourselves when we have something important to say or do is to strangle our own voice and spirit, it’s to quiet ourselves down because we fear how others might react and we fear the consequences of our actions.

What would happen if we moved through life without any doubt? Not that we shouldn’t question life because everything that we’ve come to know should be questioned once or twice, to question is to open room for progress.

But what if we made the decision that there’s no longer any need for self-doubt. Once we’ve settled on our goals, what if we just kept moving so fast that our doubts couldn’t keep up?
Self questioning can become habitually unhealthy. If I’ve decided that I want to change the world then doubting myself becomes a waste of my time and a personal burden. Because even if I can’t change the world, what would happen if I fully committed to it anyway? To shoot for the moon, because even if we miss we might find ourselves among the stars.
Self-Doubt is an excuse to slow yourself down because inside we hold a fear of moving so fast that we get lost.
But it’s only by getting lost can we find new doors to open.

If you want to do anything original then you’ll be attacked, it can’t be helped. Some people will love you for it, but others will condemn you for a variety of imagined reasons.
What does it mean when someones first impulse is to criticize you? To rip into your mistakes as the only substance of your work?
A few days ago I had someone tell me that my work was egotistical and crappy self-promotion. He told me that I had nothing to say and that I wasn’t going anywhere. He confused me by telling me to give up and then he tried to sell me one of his self-help books.
This guy was suppose to be a spiritual consultant.

So I had a spiritual consultant telling me to give up on my dreams because everything I’m doing now is ridiculous.
I reacted something like this…
“F**** you, what gives you the right, old man, your bitter and resentful! You’re not a spiritual consultant! You’re nothing but a crony looking to make a buck by scavenging on the high spirits of youth!”

Well… not exactly like that. But that’s how I felt!
Truthfully…

His words sank deeply into my skin and made me begin to doubt myself. He said, “words are just words, it’s your fault for reacting this way” but to me, words are the most physical way to communicate with someone because they will ring in your ears for days, weeks or even years.
For most of us how we view ourselves is largely influenced by how society views us. If people are defining and treating you like an object then you will unknowingly come to feel like an object, and being objectified is not a good feeling. Itb might make you live with false beliefs about yourself.
My conversation with him shook me to my core. I’ve been questioning myself ever since, I’ve been questioning my goals. I’ve been struggling even to make this piece.
Ultimately, he and I settled and started talking to one another. He did say one thing that I thought was wise…
He said that we shouldn’t make excuses for the thoughts that we have.
Because our thoughts reflect the quality of our mind.

I thought that was a profound statement that I’m not sure even he understood, after all, he made it clear that he resented me and then put himself on a pedestal as some sort of spirit guide.
But I was left with these words ringing in my mind. “My doubt is my fault, I doubt myself because I don’t really believe in myself”
Where did this all leave me?

My creative spirit suddenly seemed like it was sinking into sand and no matter how much I struggled I only sunk deeper. It was like he threw a big bucket of water on my fire.
In fact, I’m still searching for what to do, this piece is my attempt to overcome these doubts and I’m happy to say that it’s working.
When I write, when I speak and when I represent ideas that are completely my own it makes me feel like I have something of meaning to contribute to the lives of others.
After all, I have the world in my pocket. Why shouldn’t I use this opportunity to help spread relevant and personal ideas, ideas that might nudge YOU into a deeper and braver place of your personality. If I can help you face the lions in your life then I will do it by showing you my scars.
I encourage you to work through self-doubt by taking small steps forward like I have with this piece. I do feel like I’ve worked through my doubts, just by making this video. I’m sure at some point they will rise again.

But now I really know what to do in order to shut off the critical and doubtful voices and fears.
Just keep working. Keep acting on your hearts will and everything else will suddenly fall to the wind. I’ll fail a thousand times before I’m thirty, but then, the world better watch out. 😉
Let the games begin because there is no doubt from here on out.

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